Oct
11
2008
11
2008
A Life Without Complaining
Filed under: Contentment, Following Jesus
In a recent letter from Laine, she spoke about gratitude and not complaining. It really spoke to my heart and I wanted to share part of it with you. If you are like me, by the time you are done reading it… you will feel like the most fortunate person in the world, no matter what your circumstances!
A complaining and negative spirit builds upon itself The more you complain…the worse you feel. The worse you feel, the more you want to complain. Sarcasm can be a roundabout way to complain about life…and can suck the life out of you! Be careful what comes out of your mouth and fill your mind with positive words and scripture. This is an ongoing pursuit…as it’s pretty difficult to “fix” a problem of complaining in our culture, when we have so much media bombarding us and telling us that we should be outraged that we don’t have everything we want! But it can be done. 
It is fine to want to improve certain things in your life, but when your focus on them becomes a detriment to truly living, re-focus needs to happen.
There is so much beauty and wonder in every day things…you don’t even have to look farther than your own home and family! So why not adopt a spirit of gratitude and look for the amazing aspects of your every day life? I find that it is helpful to list 3-4 things in my mind that I am grateful for each morning and evening. It instantly changes my outlook. Each of us has a choice at the beginning of each day to start with joy…we, as mothers and wives, have so much control over the “feel” of our home and life. Fill it with joy.
Dear Sisters,
“Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Philippians 2:14
How I hear these Words in my mind over and over, especially when I want to do one or the other. Mostly the complaining part. So within the last year I have had this imaginary conversation with a woman from the mid 1800’s; and when I am tempted to complain, rather than to thank God for His many goodnesses, I say this silently to her in her era:
How can I complain when I can hold the whole counsel of God in my hands and read it any time I want?
How can I complain when I can go to the sink and hot and cold water pours out for me at the flick of my wrist?
How can I complain when at the push of a button I can have instant heat on my stove?
How can I complain when it takes me minutes to load my washer and at the push of a button all the work is done for me?
How can I complain when I can get into my car and be at a market within 15 minutes?
How can I complain when I can have hot or cold air piped into my car while driving?
How can I complain when I can listen to the most beautiful music while driving?
How can I complain when I can see the doctor or the dentist on the same day I am suffering?
How can I complain when I can write a letter and send it to be received on the same day I sent it?
How can I complain when the shelves are so full of good things at my supermarket?
How can I complain when I can buy clothes cheaper than the cost of just the thread at garage sales and thrift shops?
How can I complain when I can turn on this machine called a vacuum and it sucks up all the dirt for me in my house?
How can I complain when I can sleep in front of a fan in the hottest time of summer?
How can I complain when I can go to the air conditioned library in the summer and use their computers for free?
How can I complain when I can talk to my mother in another state on a moment’s notice over a hands free phone?
How can I complain when I can soak away my aches and pains in hot water piped right into my tub?
How can I complain when I don’t have to use an outhouse, rather a lovely bathroom right inside my home?
How can I complain when I have this big above ground pool right in my backyard to jump into when it is so hot?
How can I complain when I have a closet full of clothes for my whole family?
How can I complain when I can turn on my t.v. and learn a whole new recipe from a celebrated chef for free?
How can I complain when I can buy canned food for my winter pantry already canned for me?
How can I complain when I can lay fully back in my chaise lounge chair on a heating pad when I am ill?
How can I complain when I want to go to a concert that I can listen to it right in my kitchen on a CD?
How can I complain when at the flick of a switch I can light up a whole room?
How can I complain?
How can I possibly complain?
“For if a man begets a hundred children and lives many years, so that the days of his years are many, but his soul is not satisfied with goodness…I say that a stillborn child is better than he…though it has not seen the sun or known anything, this has more rest than that man, even if he lives a thousand years twice – but has not seen goodness.” Eccl. 6:3-6How can I complain when every day is such Sweet Sabbath Rest with Him?
Love,
Laine
Posted by Sara @ 10:26 pm | Leave a Comment
12
2008
I’m not sure how I found your blog..but I’ve had it bookmarked for a few weeks now. I just had to comment on this one. What an amazing reminder!! Thank you so much for this post!
Have a blessed day!
12
2008
This is so true. I try so hard not to complain. I live in Germany where I get to travel around Europe at no cost to me! I get to call my boyfriend overseas every other night if I wish. I can talk to any one of my friends at the literal click of a button.
I get to eat, sleep, and breathe safely.
I love simplicity. Even when people believe things aren’t as simple as they seem, they have a simple foundation.
This post and her letter was inspiring to me. I guess now there’s no reason to complain about having four of my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow.
12
2008
Thank you for an awesome reminder. I have been meditating in the mornings lately with a gratitude theme. I so needed this “nodding my head in agreement” post to read.
12
2008
So true!!! My daughter loves to pray while she swings. She tells me what to pray for then we pray together. She always starts with Daddy, then Mommy, sissy and “me” and then moves on to the stuff we so often overlook. The birds, the sun, the trees, our home, even the swing. She’ll go on and on praying for everything she sees. Kids are so good noticing the things we so often take for granted!!!
12
2008
This is tough for me, because who can honestly aspire to feel happy and content every day of our lives?
Of course we don’t want to spend our lives complaining about trivia or minor bumps in the road when we have so many blessings. But when we are faced with tragedy or extreme disappointment, is it realistic to expect that we will not go through a phase of complaining?
There’s a big difference between complaining that your husband leaves his clothes on the floor and feeling wronged because your beloved children were all killed by a drunk driver. (This didn’t happen to me, I am just trying to illustrate my point.)
The Bible is full of examples of prophets and other righteous people who nonetheless complained about injustice and sinfulness and tragedies around them.
A historian once told me that there were some black people in the deep South who opposed the tactics of the civil rights movement. They thought it was wrong to complain about segregation, not just because it might provoke a backlash but also because from their perspective, even the segregated South of the 1950s and 1960s was a big improvement on the atmosphere of the 1920s and 1930s. So why complain?
Progress cannot be made if we resolve not to complain about the wrongs we see around us.
But I agree with what I think you are saying, which is that we can all strive to be content with our lot without desiring more material comforts.
12
2008
Laurie…the complaining I’m talking about is of course not the same kind of “complaining” as fighting against injustice or in extreme tragedy. And you are right, God calls us to pour out our hearts to him…to cry out to him with our complaints. But the kind of complaining I’m talking about is the incessant, unnecessary complaining about every day life. God does not even call for us to be “happy”…happiness is an emotion that comes and goes quickly…departing as quickly as it came sometimes! But for me, I want to strive for a deep JOY that is rooted in Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and in His daily provision for me. And out of that joy comes a spirit of gratitude. Thank you for your thoughts…as always
Hope you’re enjoying this beautiful Iowa weather!
13
2008
Very good post and a timely reminder. The people we hurt most by our complaining and negative thoughts are ourselves.
13
2008
When I was 17 I spent the summer on a mission trip in rural Jamaica. When you experience the way so much of the rest of the world lives, it changes you. Now when I feel discontent with my small (only by American standards) home I walk through and imagine I am one of the Jamaican women I met finding out this was my home. Looking at what I have through their eyes, I cannot help but feel like the richest woman in the world. I acknowledge also that my home only feels small because I have too much stuff in it. And I have too much stuff in it because I have enough money to buy more than our basic needs. So, really I have nothing to complain about. Thanks for reminding us!
13
2008
I’ve been lurking for awhile, but this post got my attention and I decided to finally say something. I used to live in Oregon, now I don’t. I found myself complaining about where I live and how it isn’t as wonderful as Oregon to my husband everyday. One day one of my kids started talking about how much prettier Oregon is than it is here. Later it was how the schools aren’t as good and the produce here leaves much to be desired. While I miss the trees and mountains of Oregon, I think that my complaining can be just as hazardous as complaining about everyday things. I have been working to curb this behavior for a month now. I am learning that to find joy where you are is definitely a practiced behavior and mind set. I still miss Oregon and want to move back, but I try to convey this to God, mostly. Good post!
13
2008
Wow. What a wonderful reminder.
I find that I complain FAR too much – just as a way to make conversation many times!
In high school, I used to write “Don’t C” on the back of my hand as a way to remind myself. (Quite a dork, no?) It’s a never ending pursuit to try to be positive. I think I’ve let it slip. Thanks for the reminder…
13
2008
I found myself nodding as I read. Oh the many conveniences that we take for granted. Yes, the hot water and stuff… don’t I know?
I came from a third world country and have witnessed extreme poverty. When I go through challenges, I remind myself of those other people who are really suffering.
Really, we are so blessed in this country. Extremely blessed. And the US government? It blows my mind how unhappy people are. Wow. I was a Martial Law baby, and grew up until the presidency of a dictator so everyday I am thankful for freedom.
13
2008
I just realized after I clicked the submit button that I also sounded like complaining…
13
2008
Amen, Amen, and Amen! i too am guilty of getting stuck in a rut of complaining. it is so disgusting. when i open my eyes to actually see the beauty around me, i am humbled. the blessings that are lavished upon me even in hard times, i am humbled. there are times in life that we go through darkness/difficulties. psalm 142:1-2 tells us that it is ok to pour out our complaints to the Lord. i’ve found that there are times that i need to mull something over with the Lord. i can lay out my complaining to Him and move forward. i find giving my complaints to God often changes my perspective and my complaints can’t last very long.
13
2008
Great post Sara! It is one of those simple things I need to remember each morning…good reminder. And by the way I love the new RV! Great vibrant colors!!!I am so happy for you guys spending more time as a family traveling. I will look forward to seeing some of the pictures you post.Thanks for your great comments on my blog as well, they have been encouraging…for it has been a long journey, but the joy of having this little boy has out weighed everything.:)
14
2008
What a wonderful post! Being positive and being grateful for the things we have brings about so many more true rewards than being negative.
It is too easy to get caught up in being negative and complaining. Just as it is too easy to fall off the path and succumb to temptations. But, in the end, it brings only more negative things.
Thank you for posting this Sara. We all need to be encouraged and reminded to be positive and be grateful for what we already are blessed with in our lives.
14
2008
I’m so glad I found your blog and not a minute too soon!!
I’m constantly reminded about the things others don’t have when I travel to do work in Guatemala! Sometimes when technology has me mad I think about those are not as fortunate!!
17
2008
Sara, Thank you for such a well timed word. We are in Ukraine now without internet and I find myself complaining about that. When you are not in your comfort zone it is easy to complain and yet God is teaching us new and important things. I realize that each opportunity where I could complain, quickly turns into times where God is building my character.
18
2008
What a wonderful reminder! Thank you!
18
2008
I just found your blog when doing a homeschool seach…and need to add that I find this post positively beautiful.
Thank you.
1
2008
Sara – thank you – I love your blog, I found it almost year ago and it is really inspiring and giving the bread for my thoughts. You are kindred spirit and my older sister – I learn so much from you – thank you hundred times.
I wouldn’t find the letter, but thanks to you I know how grateful i should be – and thanks to Laine
10
2008
Just stumbled across your blog – though not sure anymore from where! Anyway, loved the reminder! I think the hardest thing I found about living in Sweden (one of the most developed countries in the world) was the general attitude of everyone taking everything for granted – and OF COURSE there are always things to complain about – doesn’t matter how fortunate you are! Here in Niger however (one of the least developed countries in the world) there is everything to complain about – from a Western Grid (actually, very few of the things mentioned above works here…) and yet I as an individual have nothing to complain about!
Once again, thanks for a lovely post!
Greetings from West Africa,
Esther
20
2008
Laine does give such beautiful encouragement, through her letters. Thank you for sharing this! By the way, I am a homebirthing mama, too! Blessings!
4
2008
wow, i loved this. we had a guest speaker at church this past week and he spoke about the very same thing! instead of complaining, we need to always remind ourselves how good He is!
15
2009
Wow. What a timely word. It makes my cheeks blush when I think of the slefish things I was complaining about to mhy husband last night. I am beyond blessed. Thanks for the reminder!