Oct
11
2009
11
2009
The Homebirth of Lucia Mae from Sara Janssen on Vimeo.
Nothing could have fully prepared me for the emotions that washed me as we welcomed a new little person into our family just four months ago. Before she was born, I tried to imagine what it would be like…but that amazing moment when she took her first breath and was finally HERE..that’s when I truly grasped how my life has been forever changed.
On the morning of May 29, I woke up at 5am with a few contractions. I laid there for about 2 hours, timing them and wondering. Around 7, I decided that this was it and we started to make the preparations for birth. Matt filled the tub, I got my “birthing clothes” on and we called Rebecca, our midwife. She said to call her back when the contractions were coming closer together. Bella hopped into the tub with me for a little scuba diving practice and we had some really special “last moments” together as just us.
Around 10:30 a.m., we called Rebecca back and things were starting to progress. I had been walking around the house, chatting with my mom and dad (who arrived from Iowa 2 nights before), walking out to the ally and back again. I would stop to have a contraction, and then keep going on with what I was doing. But by 11am, I felt like I needed to be more focused on each contraction, so I went in the bedroom and sat on the birthing ball.
The ball was my best friend. My contractions were low and in my hips/back. It felt great for me to bounce and put my hands on my hips during each one and press down hard while I vocalized. However, when anyone else tried to take over the task of pressing on my hips, it HURT SO BAD. So, after swatting both Matt and Rebecca away from me, I went at it in solitude.
I could feel myself slowly slipping into a laborland…a blissful state where the only thing that mattered was seeing my baby. The contractions continued to intensify. Rebecca and her assistant, Katie would come in to check the heart tones, but they never checked dialation per my request and all I can remember Rebecca saying was “you’re doing great…keep doing it”. They would occasionally offer me some Recharge to sip on (oh my word…I love the grape flavor!) and a cool wash cloth for my forehead. Most of the time, I was completely unaware of who was in the room and even fell asleep between contractions toward the end. I would wake myself up when I heard snoring…and then I would laugh. ☺
I had spent the last couple of days prior creating my perfect birth musical playlist. At some point in labor, I demanded that it be turned OFF because it was annoying me. So much for my baby entering into the world with the voice of Jason Mraz crooning in the background.
One thing I remember from all of my prenatal appointments with Rebecca was that we should have have “no expectations” of the birth experience. She reminded me to just go with the flow and listen to my body…and this is one of the many reasons why I love her so much.
From the moment we met Rebecca, we knew that she would be a perfect fit for our family. She is kind, compassionate, intuitive, and she truly respects the birth process. She is incredibly knowledgeable in so many areas…we felt confident that we could bring any question to her and she would have the answer. She empowered ME to trust my body and let birth unfold in the way it’s supposed to. The best part…we didn’t just gain a midwife in this process, we gained a friend for life.
I chose to focus on the word “open” during my labor…I never said the entire word out loud, but I would say “oooooooohhhhhhhhhh” in a low and loud voice whenever a contraction would come on. It was the best pain medication EVER. As soon as I stopped vocalizing, the pressure would get stronger.
Feeling Lucy move down through the birth canal was the craziest feeling…with every contraction, I could feel her get a little closer to emerging. I never “decided” to push…my body just did it on it’s own and when I felt myself wanting to bear down, I just went with it. There came a time when I knew I must be in transition because my internal voice was saying “Wow…when is this going to be over? It hurts.” And as soon as I thought that to myself, I was glad because I knew it was close!
At this point, I sensed a shift in Rebecca…and she asked Matt if he wanted to catch his baby. That question quickly snapped me out of la-la land and I was ON IT. Let’s DO THIS! I reached down and felt Lucy’s head emerging. My waters still had not broken.
On the next contraction, I felt her crowning and remember my voice getting higher…I looked at Rebecca and she reminded me to stop pushing and make the “puh puh puh” sound with my mouth to slow down the crowning and avoid tearing. And then…she was born. Her head “popped” out along with the water sac, and I felt and immediate sense of relief. I reached down and felt her head and on the next contraction the rest of her body slipped out, into her Daddy’s hands and she was placed on my chest. 2:59 p.m…a miracle is born.
There are no words to describe that moment. She was here. She was perfect. I counted her fingers and toes and grinned from ear to ear. Bella was in charge of announcing if it was a boy or a girl…but the cord was blocking the view and made it look like her was a boy. When we finally realized it was a girl, I was in SHOCK! I was sure it was a boy the entire pregnancy. I had random old women in Costco coming up to me to tell me I was having a boy. Along with every other person in my life. We had an entire dresser full of little boy clothes with not one pink onesie in sight. And yet, her SHE was. A sweet little girl. A sister for my Bella. Oh what joy filled my heart.
We announced that her name would be Lucia Mae…Lucy for short. The rest of the afternoon was a blur of snuggling, calling, smiling, crying, loving…I nearly drove my mom crazy because I wanted to be the one to tell my four siblings the news. I was waiting until things calmed down a bit before I called…but she could hardly contain her excitement. ☺
The night before I went into labor, I had a dream. In the dream, I walked through an open door and my Grandma was standing in front of me with her arms outstretched. She was vibrant, healthy and smiling. She embraced me. As we held each other, she whispered, “It’s ok…it’s time”. I stepped back from her and then she was gone.
This dream came just one day after her funeral back in Iowa. A funeral that I could not attend…being that I was about to give birth. It was devastating for me to miss saying goodbye to her…and yet I felt her presence with me so strongly those last couple of days before Lucy was born. She was still there with me. And even as we said goodbye to Baba…we welcomed a NEW life into the world. The incredible circle of life and death.
It was such a blessing to have my mom and dad at her birth…they were able to be at Bella’s birth as well. They drove straight to Bozeman from Iowa after the funeral and I can only imagine the emotions and stress that they were going through….and yet they drove 16 hours to be with us. I will always treasure the memories I have of my mom and Bella as they watched Lucy join this world…and of my dad as he patiently waited in the living room as his first born child became a mother once again.
It has been quite a transition to add a second child into our family after 5 years of just one…and yet it’s the most wonderful thing that we’ve done thus far. The depth of our relationships with each other have changed and grown, and watching Bella with Lucy brings me to tears.
Lucy is now 4 ½ months old and is changing every day. She laughs out loud and her sister’s funny faces. She chews on everything she can get her hands on. It seems her legs have a new roll on them every time I change her diaper. She loves being in the Moby and the excitement that overtakes her every time she realizes she is about to nurse is just too wonderful.
We can’t imagine life without her…and can’t wait to see her little personality emerge. God is good.
Photography by myself and Alicia Caine
Midwifery Care by Rebecca at Green Midwife
Songs:
The Story by Brandi Carlile
Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks
If you are having trouble viewing the Vimeo video, it’s on YouTube here as well.
Posted by Sara @ 2:19 pm | Leave a Comment
11
2009
Beautiful. Have a midwife appt. this weekend. I treasure the birth stories of my other 2 children also born at home. So many we know think we are crazy for not wanting to be in the hospital. After having 2 at home and listening to so many friends hospital birth stories I can not imagine making a hospital the birth place of choice.
11
2009
Wow. Absolutely amazing. Tissues needed people, tissues needed. Love you!
11
2009
Sarah, I’ve never commented before – but I’ve been a “fan” for quite awhile. I was captivated watching the video. I kept trying to read what you wrote but found I couldn’t take my eyes off the video. Thank you for sharing. I am 22 weeks with our 8th child, this is the 2nd born at home. I can hardly wait to meet this new little one inside. May God richly bless you.
11
2009
Oh Sara…simply beautiful! I praise Jesus for the miracle of Lucy!
11
2009
Thank you for sharing the birth story of Lucy. It sounds like an amazing birth. I had a hospital birth (planned c-section) with Max. It was not what I would have liked (Max had been transverse all the way though)but still a (I was going to say lovely experince and having Max in my arms for the first time was, but if I could go back I would have fought harder for a natural birth).
Bella, reminds me so much of Max. The sweet kiss between you too in the birthpool is so Max. She seems to have such a sweet nature and I bet she is the best sister ever!
I am currently TTC a little brother or sister for Max (he’ll be 4 on Saturday, 17th Oct) and I’d love for him to have a sibling. He’s fantastic with littleones and would be such a lovely big brother.
Sorry, I went of on a mumble…
I am totally in love with this magazine at the moment and wondered if you’ve come across it as I think you’d love it.
http://www.themothermagazine.co.uk/
Thanks again for sharing your beautiful story!
11
2009
wow, sara, THANK YOU for sharing this, especially the video. I had tears in my eyes at the first glimpse of Lucy; what a miracle of life!
11
2009
Wow..and WOW! Beautiful..thank you for sharing…
11
2009
Thank you SO much for sharing your birth story with us… amazing video, I even cried! (and I’m not one who cries easily) SO much passion and joy and Jesus altogether in your fam. Lots of love from the desert in Chile!
11
2009
Hi Sara! I am a new reader to your blog. I just so enjoyed this… thankyou for sharing! What a beautiful family you have!
Hugs.. and many blessing over you!
Amy
11
2009
What a beautiful birth story! Thanks so much for sharing it. The video brought tears to me eyes! Both your children are just so lovely. Your family is so blessed.
11
2009
Simply beautiful. You are truly an inspiring woman.
11
2009
God is so good! Beautiful!
11
2009
Beautiful word and beautiful pictures! Thank you so much for sharing, Sara!
11
2009
Thanks for sharing, just beautiful!
11
2009
Wow! I think that was the most perfect birth story I have ever heard!…and what a great midwife you have. I have been thinking lately about how impotant a good birthing team is to have the full experience. This was so inspiring I want to know all the details and things that helped you prior to the birth as well and other coping strategies. I totally know the feeling of being so focused you tend to zone out and you have no idea what is going on around you… Its a blur, and the time flys by. Did this birth go faster than your first? Or how did they compare?
So beautiful…I had tears rolling down my face watching that video.
11
2009
loved it
took me back to that day
you make me want to have another
absolutely beautiful—–what a blessing
xxxxcarrie
11
2009
I’m a wreck. That was GORGEOUS Sara. The photos of you during labor are so powerful. I also loved the ones of Bella and Matt waiting and watching. And the ones of your mom at the instant she was born were amazing. I could watch that a hundred times.
12
2009
Praise the Lord!
Thanks for sharing your beautiful story
..I shed a few tears!!
~ God Bless
12
2009
*applause*
I’ve been captivated by your blog for ahile now, but this is first time commenting….I LOVED your video. The photos are amazing. The colours!!
We’re expecting our 4th baby in 8 weeks and all our births so far have been drug-free waterbirths (last 2 have been at home).
I’m a huge huge huge fan of having siblings at birth. Both sets of our parents deeply disapprove of us choosing to have our kids present but i am absolutely convinced of its benefit. I adore seeing a new baby getting loved all over by their siblings. Awesome!!
Thank you so much for sharing, I wished more women (and husbands) knew of this way of birthing.
“Every life has but one beginning”….what a beautiful beginning you gifted to Lucy
Oh, and how cool is your midwife? She seriously wore purple striped socks with yellow boots and a floral dress?? *swoons* that is TOO awesome, haha
12
2009
What a beautiful beautiful story and video!
12
2009
Gorgeous video!
Could you tell us how Bella reacted to being there? Was she at all scared to see you in pain?
Thank you so much for your blog.
12
2009
Thank you for sharing your joy. I am speechless. You are truly blessed!
12
2009
beautiful photos and music. i feel so deeply happy and relaxed after watching. my favorite images are of your Bella, holding your face and you mom’s (i’m assuming). what a tender little girl. and then, of course, that baby Lucy is just perfection. you did a great job! thank u for sharing. i need to remember to watch this again when i’m having a bad day. u can’t walk away without feeling changed.
i am in nursing school and start L&D clinicals this week. i know i’ll see nothing quite as wonderful as this but every mommy deserves the best we can do.
12
2009
Beautiful somehow doesn’t fully capture it….homebirthing is such a blessing!! Thank you for sharing
12
2009
Stephanie…Lucy’s birth was about half the time of Bella’s. I was only in “hard” labor for 2-3 hours. With Bella, it was more like 4-5. As far as coping methods, vocalizing with low sounds with my mouth open helped so much. The water, of course, was helpful and wonderful. Educating myself on what my body would do during birth…the book “Guide To Childbirth” by Ina May Gaskin is a MUST read for every pregnant (and not pregnant!) mama.
Also, the second time around was much easier just because I trusted my body so much more. I never asked “when should I push”…I just let my body do it. I didn’t TRY to have a baby…it just happened on it’s own
Ashley…Bella did awesome. We read the book Hello Baby OVER and OVER and she was completely prepared for mommy to make lots of noise. She loved playing in the tub and that helped her connect with the experience. Her age helped too…she is 5. Although I think much younger children would do fine too…with preparation.
12
2009
THanks for the advice. I feel like I did everything i could to educate myself and keep myself healthy. I read Ina May’s book, and loved it! I took a bradley class that helped me through hours of labor…I wonder if the water would help me relax more next time. Also did you do anything to help your water bag stay intact that long? or does that just vary from pregnancy to pregnancy? I think that is my main concern next time around, I just do not want my water to break first again! But you are right, it is all about trusting your body, and maybe the second time will be easier with kind of knowing what to expect. thanks for sharing. And what a beautiful colorful home to give birth in.
12
2009
thisw is amazing. i showed the video to my kids (5 and 3,5 years old), and they loved it, too, watched it like 3 or 4 times. i am expecting a baby for february, but here homebirth is not allowed. still, thank you for the advice, i am sure they will be helpful even in the hospital.
12
2009
Sara, this is just so beautiful. I’ve been trying to have a second child for a few years now, and it’s produced in me some kind of super-sensitivity to new life coming into the world. It makes me overjoyed for the people who experience such a miracle, and I can’t even put into words how moving your story and video are. I thank God for your blessing, and wish your family the best.
12
2009
i came to this blog through rebecca’s site and your story through photos and music is absolutely empowering. thank you for sharing, for having a beautiful home birth, and for being a role model. you are a strong woman!
12
2009
So beautiful. Full of tears watching it!! Lucy is so lucky to have you as a Mama.
12
2009
Aw, congratulations, mama. Lovely video and birth story. Lucy was born into love and peace. Enjoy the babymoon, powerful mama!
xoxo
12
2009
PS We have the “Hello Baby” book but it’s titled “Welcome with Love” on our cover. Interesting!
12
2009
Wow, Sara, what a beautiful video of a beautiful experience! Thank you so much for sharing this with the world, it will be so encouraging to lots of mama’s!
You are a blessed woman. Enjoy your family,
love, Annemarie, dutch mama
12
2009
Thank you so much for sharing! My Sam was born 5-19 ~ isn’t love fabulous!!??? I have been a lurker on your blog for a while now and have a question: We rencently moved into our trailer and I am looking for a washer/dryer combo that will stand the test of diapers and wipes, any recomendations? I have switched over to paper diapers in the meantime and hating it
Again, thank you for sharing, prayers and love to your wee ones and husband!
~Shirley
12
2009
I was honored to meet your newest little lady today and spend some time “just the girls”. love you friend. Thanks for the coffee and cookie and the photo shoot. 10 years and looking forward to the next 10 with you for a friend!
12
2009
Who took the pictures? I am having baby five at home in a few weeks and you have inspired me that I really need to get beautiful pictures! How did you find someone? any tips?
12
2009
Meg…my photographer was a dear friend of mine, also a homebirther. It’s really important to find someone who “gets” homebirthing. You should be very cautious about who you allow into your birth space…as I’m sure you already know with your 5th on the way (congrats!). I would search your area for a photographer who has a style you adore…and then meet them for coffee for an interview, tell them your thoughts and get a quote. Good luck!
12
2009
I’m so happy you posted your birth story! I am currently 5 days overdue with my second child, and anxiously awaiting his arrival! We are planning a homebirth complete with a birthing pool, and I have to say it is partly due to your influence here on your blog! I have been an avid reader for about 2 years now! Thank you for sharing your passion, and knowledge…I don’t believe I would be attempting this had it not been for your sharing here on your blog and through your flickr stream!
It was good to read your story, and I pray that our story can be told soon too!
12
2009
I had only read your story before posting my first comment…then I went back and watched the video…with my daughter!
BEAUTIFUL! And so helpful in showing her a little of what to expect! I cried! So wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
12
2009
This is so sweet, and inspiring. I’m due in a few weeks myself, and although I have to have my baby in a hospital (military) watching this gives me peace about trying to have a natural birth this time. Thank you!
12
2009
This was just so so so beautiful. And that picture toward the end of Lucy in green onsie with the flowers? She reminds me so much of Bella.
13
2009
Absolutely beautiful, brought tears to my eyes.
Charlotte xx
13
2009
What an amazingly beautiful story and video! I’m about to have my first child (due yesterday) and I will be giving it my all to go natural. I’m going to be in the hospital though, so I’m a little nervous about that. I wish I had someone to capture that day for me-what a keepsake! (Got your blog from Denise Muller)
13
2009
Oh this was beautiful. She gave me a jolt as she looked just like when my Ivy LaRue was born at home one year ago. I am so thankful for the birth we had in our bedroom.
This was just lovely- thank you so much for sharing.
Steph
13
2009
How beautiful and what an amazing birth story. I too had a homebirth, such a wonderful experience! What is the name of the first song that plays in the video?..I love it!
13
2009
Kristy…the first song is “The Story” by Brandi Carlile. I first heard it on a car (Toyota?) commercial and fell in love with it.
13
2009
awwww
13
2009
wow! You are so lucky to have such a great photographer! All the pictures of my births were by my midwives and my mother in law! great job. Maybe I’ll have to have a photographer on call next time.
13
2009
Loved reading your story and watching the slideshow! Makes me so excited about our homebirth!!!! Only a few weeks left. Looks like you had an amazing experience and Alicia did a fantastic job with the pictures!!!!
13
2009
Thanks so much for sharing such a beautiful story!