Oct
28
2010

Sisters & Grace

Filed under: Family, Following Jesus, Life Inspired, Motherhood, Patience

Oh my heart. These photos just make me swoon with motherly love. I’ve been thinking so much lately about the relationship that Bella and Lucy have and how that relationship will continue to blossom and change throughout their lives.

Bella LOVES being the big sister. She loves to teach and help and encourage. She is so loving…sometimes a little TOO loving Lucy has now figured out that if she doesn’t want to be picked up by Bella, she can head butt, pinch, pull hair, bite…whatever it takes to get her to put her down. It’s actually quite humorous to observe. This is hard for Bella because all she wants to do is have a real live baby doll. Matt and I get so exasperated from repeating the phrase “Bella…please put her down” all day long. She can’t walk by Lucy without trying to pick her up!

Lucy wants to be big like Bella. It’s so hard when Bella has friends over to play…because Lucy wants to join in the fun! Unfortunately right now that means she will eat markers and tear papers, and pretty much drive them crazy. She begs to sit in Bella’s bunk…and when we finally put her up there, she sits super still and quiet…drinking in the moment.

Sometimes after Bella has an interaction with Lucy…she will share her thoughts with me. She whispers with a smile…

“I did that just like a mommy…”

And I wonder in my heart what “mommy ways” I have modeled for her that day. Often times, I am reminded of words spoken too harshly, concerns dismissed to quickly, or her repeated requests that went ignored because I was “busy”. I so desire to show her what gentleness, grace, and kindness look like in a real setting. And yet, I fail often.

Watching her act out my inadequacies is a hard wake up call. And something I am actively working on. Because she copies my actions. And Lucy copies her actions. So by controlling my own selfishness and/or impatience, I can affect the entire dynamic of our family. I have God-given power to mold the outcome of every situation by exchanging my knee jerk reactions with thoughtful, Christ-like reactions.

I cannot do this on my own. I do not believe that deep down I am a “GOOD” person and if I just focus on that, good things will come out of my heart. No, I believe that deep down, I am motivated by selfish desires. I’m motivated by my flesh. And acting in the flesh FEELS good at the time, but it’s not good. I’m a sinner. Every day (sometimes every hour), I have to die to those desires. I want more of Jesus and less of me. I walk with Jesus by my side every day so that I can listen to Him whisper encouragement in my ears:

“…and God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed…
*2 Corinthians 9:8

Jesus shows me grace daily…and for that I am so humbled and grateful. I seriously don’t know why He puts up with me sometimes In thinking about this grace He offers, I am able to extend grace to my children and husband in the same way. In every middle-of-the-store-meltdown. In every exchange of words. There is always sufficient grace to offer.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
*2 Corinthians 12:9

Posted by Sara @ 11:37 am | Leave a Comment

http://www.theitaliandyes.com/ Anne

Thanks for sharing your walk with us! It encouraged me tonight!
Laura S.

Ok…this made me tear up for some reason! This is exactly what I’m going to hope to be like when I have kids…you probably don’t realize it but you DO embody many of these things you talked about Love you sister!
- http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/ Sara
  
  Thank you love…xxoo
http://coffeebeings.blogspot.com/ Erin

I know I can’t do it on my own, without Him, but I don’t remember that as often as I need to! Thanks for reminding me for today.
Natalie

one way that my Father shows me grace is by surrounding my life with friends who walk with Him. Thanks for encouraging me friend. Today has been a great day of mamahood, I am tucking these little truths away for the tomorrow that it is REALLY hard to be patient, kind, persevering, gentle, and full of Him to my kiddos. Love you, friend!
- http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/ Sara
  
  Glad to have you as a friend too…you teach me much. xxoo
http://www.nourishingdays.com Shannon

This has been my exact experience as I have witnessed the relationship of my two boys – now 4 and 2. Our biggest boy sometimes speaks to his brother in a harsh tone and I wonder if he has heard it from me. And I now realize that children are God’s teaching tool for parents’ souls.
http://www.kimwhitten.blogspot.com kim whitten

Fantastic photos and a shared experience that I think we all feel at one time or another. God’s Grace is perfect Grace, thankfully!
http://sagefemmemama.blogspot.com Sarah Eiley Cowherd

So beautiful, Sara! This is my first post on any of your blogs, but I have been following your story for a while. You are inspiring in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your journey through simple living, following Christ and also as a gentle mama. I feel like we would be kindred spirits if we met! Anytime you guys are headed to the east cost, a hot cup of tea will be waiting at my house!!
- http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/ Sara
  
  Sounds good! Tea sounds great
Melissa

Thanks for such a sweet post. One of my favorites so far! I am encouraged to know that out there, there are parents raising children in the most wonderful way.
rebecca

thank you so much sara! what a beautiful post! <3
Sarah

I had a moment of clarity yesterday regarding my own modeling as a mother when I told my 4 year old daughter to close the refrigerator door; she didn’t close it immediately so I grabbed her arm and harshly said, “You need to listen better to me”. She responded, “But, Mom, I was just opening the refrigerator.” I reacted so ridiculously and wrongly and I apologized to her for that. We are not perfect and with the help of Jesus we can learn from our mistakes; I regularly experience moments of clarity which I believe come from God, to help me become a better person. From a complete stranger, I thank you for sharing your life and learning!
http://www.winenaptime.wordpress.com Jenna Boettger Boring

That was a verse I needed to hear tonight, thank you. And those pictures are absolutly precious.
lisa

On of the best things that ever happened to me was witnessing my older daughter yell at, scold, insult, and boss around her baby sister. It was out of the blue–an anomaly in their normally gentle relationship–and she sounded exactly like me (shocking, right?). I am normally an extraordinarily calm person, but my kids push my buttons in ways I never expected. (I literally never understood anger until I had kids, and boy did that catch me off guard!) I hadn’t stopped to examine how I looked, sounded and acted. I just let my frustrations dump out onto the little people I was supposed to be TEACHING.

Since then, I think about my actions, mood, and words in terms of whether I would want my daughters copying me. Since then, I’ve become a better mother and person.

But wow, it’s not easy.
- http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/ Sara
  
  Isn’t that the truth!? It’s like a complete stranger lived within me…quiet until I had kids. And then Sara the crazy mom came out ha. I think we all have our moments. Glad to know we all go through it.
Rebecca

Thank you for this post. I discovered your blog a few days ago and I have enjoyed reading it. I love the way you and your family have chosen to live your life and I find it very inspiring.
http://www.some-daysoon.blogspot.com Sonja

Love this post, Sara. It’s amazing what little sponges they are and how they act as mirros for us. Amen. His grace is sufficient.

On a side note, spent some sweet time with Stephanie today and I’m loving my dreads, even in their stiff state. Haven’t posted any pics on my blog. Thanks for being beautiful and inspiring.
- http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/ Sara
  
  Yay! Can’t wait to see them
http://www.familyofmovers.com Lynne

Thanks for being real. There are some days where I am too busy too for doing the little things for them but I always make it a pack that during our nightly prayers that I confess my laziness or harshness that was spoken that day then I ask them for forgiveness. I am so thankful for my internet friends!
http://www.lifelovegreen.com Amber

I agree with pretty much all the replies so I will simply say ditto.
http://aprilemery.blogspot.com April Emery

Amen sista! There is nothing more humbling than God using our children to hold a mirror up to ourselves and show us our blind spots.

My oldest daughter (almost 5) is like how Bella is with Lucy, with my 9-month old son so I echo your comments there.

Something that has helped me lately in mothering my children is to not lose sight of the short amount of time I have with my kids (especially while they still want me near). I choose my words/actions way differently when I live in this state-of-mind. Also remembering that God made NO mistake in giving me the children I have to parent … that I am supposed to be their mom.

And when I am discouraged over all the bad habits my children emulate I keep pressing on to be the best mom I know how to be (with the Lord’s help of course) and try not to get lost in all the time I mess up. No matter how hard I try I will fail my children. I just need to keep pressing on and fighting to be a better mom than I was the day before.

You have a beautiful heart and I am sure your children (even though they may not have to words to express it) think the world of you.

from one mom to another, God bless!
erin martin

What a beautiful post! My two girls are almost at the age to be buddies like your girls and I can’t wait.
http://www.poorpitifulpearl.com Shauna

What a beautiful genuine post. From a mothers heart… I felt as if I was reading my own thoughts outloud here.
And Gosh… McCOy is soooo much like your Bella…. She wants to carry Italia around all day …. and she so badly wants to be like Mommy.

Thanks for sharing. x
http://runyenfamily.blogspot.com/ Khrista

This resonated with me tonight…I am in this place…my selfishness rearing it’s ugly head all too often. Feeling overextended and downright tired. What a great post to read tonight! Thank you for your words and scripture…puts it all in perspective!
http://www.welcometomyarmylife.blogspot.com aubrey hall

I love that you so freely share your faith when you blog! God is using you!
http://beesnest.tumblr.com Brittany

don’t ever be too hard on yourself. i have a feeling you’re a tremendous mama.
and anyway, you sharing your faith re-inspires me to pick up my bible when i’ve been a little lax. so thanks.
Jacque

Very beautiful and timely post. Thank so much Sara for sharing your trial with us. This is something all mothers struggle with to varying degrees. May God allow us all to be encouraging to one another with the Grace only He can provide.

So thankful that Jesus is drawing you closer to Him and refining you through this trial. May God be glorified through this!!
http://www.redaisy.blogspot.com ayla

i think about this a lot– my own shortcomings will be so magnified when we have a baby! it’s scary to think about.

i love your rug, btw. i keep buying brownish-reddish things and i don’t think i like dark colors around me. i want to find a rug like yours, it’s a good place to start, i think. :]
http://guerillartmoma.blogspot.com/ guerillartmoma

I am so glad I found your blog. The photos are sweet. Blessings and safe travels.
http://unschoolinglifestyle.com Sara McGrath

My eldest loves to mother her little sisters, which sometimes is met with shoving away and kicking from my 2-yr-old. My daughter has been telling me things like “Uh-oh. It looks like I taught her to shout at me,” so even she is noticing how that works.
pamela

what a beautiful post i ccan definitely relate to on a few levels.
my twins have each other as a playmate and the baby, ilani (9 months), just wants to be a big girl with them. of course, at 5, the girls are not wanting a block tower knocker over paper eating babydoll taking little munchkin constantly around them. i relish in the times when they act like big sisters and let that little tender motherly side of them show. i wish it were more common than not. it’s beautiful to witness.
i appreciate your realness. it’s true, none of us are perfect. i’m constantly kicking myself in the butt for my mistakes. i feel like i can’t be making them because i’m a single mom and i want to be the best mommy i can and well i guess i’m trying to be and do too much alone. i too sometimes respond with harsh tone or say i’m busy or dismiss a concern as well and it really bothers me because i’m rushing rushing through my day as if i have to get it all done now. i’m tired of it. i’m tired of having an emotional breakdown at the end of every day because i didn’t keep myself in check. frustration’s letting out as i’m typing this. it’s like therapy. i’ve never read the Bible. i feel terrible saying that. i have to buy one. i wouldn’t know how to read it though.. like a book from beginning to end? i don’t know about the places around here for churches. we moved here about 4 years ago and i haven’t really made the effort to play a part in the community. i don’t really feel like i (we) belong here though. my heart yearns to be somewhere else, though where it’s calling me to precisely is a bit unknown. i feel tugs in different directions.. in more ways than one.
i love you for sharing this post, because it helps, truly. thank you, sara!
http://www.peruquois.com Peruquois

This is such a beautiful read , it bubbles with life and rgace, i am glad i found this blog, i was googling for trees, big trees and i found a picture of a treehugegr hugging a giant tree, and that led me here, wil surely visit again.

Lots of love and greenery

Peruquois
http://www.thesonneborns.blogspot.com Elizabeth

Great post Sara… I think all us moms, we have those days when we come up a bit short on the ‘role model’ side of things. But there are some days we don’t. I try to focus on those – the good days. but use the not as great ones as a learning experience:) Clearly you are doing the same. and the pictures of the girls together are beautiful!! I cannnot wait to give my son a sibling! How far apart are they in age?!? Abram is 2 1/2 now and I’m just beginning to get that itch to add another… but am probably over analyzing the age difference of course! haha.
http://www.suzysouthern.blogspot.com Farrah

What sweet pictures!
http://www.imperfectpeople.net Katie @ Imperfect People

Two girls are awesome!! We have two girls too
http://positivelyalene.blogspot.com/ Alene

It’s one of those nights. I went googling researching and happened upon your blog. Love your site. Love this post. Thank you for the encouraging words. Love your photography!
http://mykaleidoscopia.blogspot.com Meghann Nickoloff

Thank you for posting your concerns about being a Godly example. This same subject has been at the front of my mind lately. I see my son displaying the same sinful reactions I have. And lately I have caught myself giving my babies the same responses I used to hate that my mother gave me. It’s funny how the Lord shows us our weakness. “I’ll be a better mother than her”, I used to tell myself. And here I have exactly the same short-comings. Thankful for the Lord’s grace to show me my sin, and especially using a Godly husband who is willing to speak a word in season.