Archive for the 'Contentment' Category

Clothes. We all wear them (well, hopefully!). They can be a symbol of power and success …or poverty. They can be a source of ridicule at school or at work…or they can land you in the “cool” crowd. Do you ever notice how clothes tend be a major conversation starter? It’s always interesting to talk with people about their clothes. You can learn a lot about people by how they view their clothing…where they shop, etc. Clothes are a powerful tool…but they can control us if we let them.

When you are trying to simplify your life and downsize your possessions, you can’t ignore this area. It tends to be avoided because clothing is so personal…there are often a lot of emotional attachments connected to it.

As I looked through my closet about 6 months ago, I started to ask myself some questions?

• Why do I have 4 plain white t-shirts?
• When was the last time I wore those shoes? Last year?
• Why do I “need” 6 pairs of jeans?
• How many pairs of socks do I really need?!

I had to look inward and try to discover why I felt like I needed all of these clothes…when there are others who have so little. I also started to wonder when our culture became clothes obsessed. According to the hgtv.com website, clothes used to be stored in chests or armoires up until after WWII…and then there was a bigger need for housing and they started to build closets as they build the new homes. This is also around the time that TV was being introduced to the masses. I can’t help but think that all advertising created the false sense of need for more clothing. Even today…if I watch too much TV/advertising, I immediately start feeling discontent with my current possessions and feel like I need to buy more to be happy. After we stopped watching so much TV, I no longer had a “voice” coming into my home telling me what to wear, what to think, and what to buy.

Stewardship: What would Jesus say if he opened your closet door?
I have to admit that I hadn’t ever really thought about what Jesus says regarding clothes up until about 6 months ago. Growing up, I had the typical attitude that you just couldn’t have enough clothes. And don’t even think about wearing USED clothes! *GASP!*. It takes time to change how you’ve always thought.

When I started studying on that topic…I realized that Jesus really doesn’t care about clothes much at all…and he tells us that we shouldn’t focus on it so much.

John answered, “The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.” Luke 3:11

But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 1 Tim 6:8

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” Matthew 6:25

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.” Matthew 6:28

He told them: “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic. Luke 9:3

It’s clear that Jesus thinks we have better things to put our time, energy, and money into than clothes. If you are going to focus your energy on it…it should revolve around getting clothes to people who truly need them.

“But…I Need It!”
Our clothing needs are really very minimal. Depending on where you live in the country (seasonally) and if you work outside the home, you will need a couple pair of pants, a couple shirts, undergarments, shoes, and a coat. That’s it. Now…I’m not saying that’s all we should have…but it will do us good to think about what a “need” truly is. I’m also not trying to turn everyone into a minimalist or say that clothes are inherently bad. Clothes are fun. It’s great to find that “perfect outfit”…I’m just asking you to think about your closet and what it says about you and what you value. On the Simple Living boards, there are several threads about clothing. In one of them, I found this little tidbit:

“I found out that the less you shop, the desire to shop would decrease. And eventually, when you are walking in a mall, you have this weird feeling while watching people buying stuff…thinking, why would people need THAT…and you suddenly feel like an alien.”

I can definitely relate to that feeling…especially now that I’m not shopping at malls. It’s a very weird phenomenon.

New…or Not
When you are purchasing a new piece of clothing…why do you have to buy it new? There are so many second-hand stores, consignment stores, etc. that have racks and racks of clothes at a fraction of the price. You can look just like everyone else (if you want to) and have all the same brands and still have money to go out to eat. If you are someone who “just doesn’t shop at thrift stores” … examine why that is. Is that an attitude handed down through your family? Do you feel some sort of shame by not buying new? Granted, it is much easier to just run to the mall or Target to pick out the latest fashion. It takes a little planning to buy used, but it’s so much better for the earth AND your pocketbook. There are many fun groups and websites that focus on recycling clothing and “re-fashioning”. I’ve shared them on another post, but they are worth sharing again:

Wardrobe Refashion
Little Brown Dress

Passing it On
Ok. So you’ve made the decision to downsize your closet. Where do you begin? There are several “methods” to help you decide whether or not you still need an item of clothing. I would suggest taking an afternoon and putting all your clothes in a big pile. Set up 3 boxes and label them “Give”, “Keep”, and “Not Sure”. Then get to it. If you think you should keep an item, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do I feel GREAT in this?
2. Does it fit me correctly? Or have I just been telling myself that?
3. Have I worn this in the last 6 months?
4. Is it practical?

If you can’t answer yes to all of the above, throw it in the “Give” pile. If you having some emotional issues letting it go, throw it in the “Not Sure” pile. The key to going through your clothes is to do it FAST…the more you sit and think about each item…the more you will THINK you want/need to keep it. Clothing is easy to come by…if you give away something you need later, find another one. Also, it does help to have a friend or spouse do this with you…so that when you need a second opinion, there is one readily available. However, don’t ask your packrat friend to help you…she will only hinder.

A side note…I know there are some of you thinking, “What about my Aunt Berta’s pink leather jacket”! If you have heirloom items in your closet that you no longer want…you should ask around the family and try to pass them on that way. If not, take a photo of the item, put it in an album and write out all of your memories about it…and then get rid of it.

Where do I take it? Can I sell it?
If you want to sell some of your clothes…try a consignment store. You can take your clothes into the store and as they sell, you will get a percentage of the profit. I prefer to just get rid of it all and be done with it…so I usually opt for Freecycle or Goodwill. Fill a bag, take it in, DONE. You could also take them directly to a women’s shelter…they are always happy to receive nice women’s and children’s clothing. I have sold some nicer items online if I know there is a market for them and I needed some quick cash. You could also try a a clothes swap…or as I’ve heard them called, a “Naked Party” and invite a bunch of your girlfriends over to swap clothes. Here are the details on how to do it.

Disposable Clothing
We live in a “disposable” obsessed culture. I have switched my house to completely re-usable/cloth everything… so why do I buy disposable clothing? The items that I’ve bought in the past from Old Navy, Target and other discount stores are usually a one- season item and then they are trashed. If I would have just bought higher quality to begin with, many resources (and headaches) would be saved. Now that we are Compacting, I’m not going into those stores at all anymore and my closet is so much better off! I think that is one of the great things about thrifting…almost everything I’ve found has been a high-quality brand that will last and last…but without the high price.

I’ve also found that when you have less clothing, you tend to take better care of what you have. With my “disposable” clothing, I didn’t care if something stained it or if it ripped.

What does YOUR closet look like Sara?
In the photo above, you can see what my closet looks like. The far left section is mine. Over the last 6 months I have gotten rid of about 75% of my clothes…and I don’t miss them! It’s so much easier to do laundry, to clean up, to sort…when you don’t have a mess of clothes in your closet. It’s immeasurably easier to get dressed in the morning when you only have a few choices. Since moving into the apartment, I’ve gotten a few more items simply because we don’t do laundry as much now. But I LOVE the simplicity of having less clothes. Less stress. Less mess. Less is good…now go clean your closet!

It’s been 2 weeks since we committed to the Compact, and the topic of contentment has really been on my mind. It’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with it. As a nation, there is discontentment around every turn. We are constantly looking for a bigger house, a better car, a more exciting job…we are told every day by advertisers that we NEED all of those things…or we will be LESS than everyone else. Less successful. Less pretty. Less desirable. Have you ever paid close attention to those feelings that are created when you are looking at advertising or at something in a store? They are not happy thoughts. Thoughts of wanting, needing…the feeling that you are somehow deprived of the true joy in life if you don’t act now. When I go into a store, I am now acutely aware of those feelings…because I cannot act upon them. I look at an item, and then I stop and examine the thoughts running through my head. Pretty crazy stuff.

I’ve been trying to eliminate all sources of advertising in our lives over the last year or so…and it’s been an eye-opening experiment. I knew that the obvious offender was the TV. But the others are not so easily detected. What about advertisements in magazines? What about the magazines themselves? Looking through magazines like Country Home, Real Simple, and others…I see so many things that I WANT. Oh the goodies! What about magazines like Health or Self? Looking at the women in those magazines will only create discontentment with your body. Now take a look in your mailbox…Crate and Barrel…J.Crew. More WANTS. Look in your email inbox. You will see passionate pleas for your to open their message. Sales! Buy now…before it’s too late! The Sunday newspaper sales ads…full of STUFF to buy. Billboards that scream at you as you drive. And the most stealthy method of all…your friends. When you go to their house and see that they have something that is sooooo cool, you want it too. Even if you don’t need it. I experienced this just yesterday. I was at a girlfriend’s house. She has a rug that I was looking at buying a couple months ago, but decided against it. And even though I have a perfectly great rug now… for a moment, I thought that I needed that same rug because she had it.

As silly as it sounds, and as “strong” as you think you might be…it’s so easy to get sucked in by all of these things. You may not act on your “wanting” impulses right away, but it’s those feelings that just pile on top of one another, creating discontentment and desire, and pretty soon you’re buying a McMansion and filling it with goodies from Pottery Barn.

The mall is another temple of wants that I try to avoid at all costs. The term “window shopping” is really quite silly. They should just call it “driving myself crazy by making myself want things I can’t afford”. And now they don’t just make malls, they make “Lifestyle Centers”. Made specially for you to MAINTAIN your lifestyle. They make it hard to leave…with the food, coffee, playgrounds, lakes, trails, movies, colleges (yes, in a mall), you do just want to LIVE there.

For me, contentment is clearly a spiritual issue. In the past, whenever I have gone on a spending binge, it has been during a spiritual dry spell. I also tend to spend a lot more when Matt on a trip and I am lonely. I spend to fill a void in my life…to feel “happy”. That void should be filled with my relationship with Christ, not with stuff. But for some reason, buying stuff (even just a fancy coffee) changes my reality at that moment, but it’s a temporary fix.

I like what Joyce Meyers has to say about this topic:

Contentment is a decision to be happy with what you already have. One dictionary defines the word content as “rest or quietness of the mind in the present condition; satisfaction which holds the mind in peace, restraining complaining, opposition, or further desire, and often implying a moderate degree of happiness.”

We usually learn to be content by living discontented lives for a long time and then finally saying: “Lord, I don’t want to live this way any longer. Getting this thing or having that thing is not worth it.

“I don’t want to be miserable anymore. Just give me what You want me to have because unless You want me to have it, I don’t want it.

“From now on I’m not going to compare myself with anyone else. I’m not going to be jealous or envious of anyone. I don’t want what anyone else has. Lord, I want only what You want me to have.”

 

The 2 things that really stick out to me:

• She says that contentment is a DECISION. It does not come naturally. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s a struggle for you…but you can overcome it.
• “Restraining complaining, opposition, or further desire”. Further desire. Sometimes my whole mind is one big desire. I desire to be this, I desire to have this, I desire to be in another place, I desire a bigger or smaller this or that. To be content is to STOP all of those feeling that roam around your brain taking away energy. Energy that could be spent on the NOW. Enjoying your life for what it truly is. It’s energy that could be spent getting to know Jesus better.

Here are some verses that speak about contentment. I am going to meditate on these verses and memorize them throughout this year as we take part in the Compact.

Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.

I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want.

I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency.

Philippians 4:11-13

Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;
I'm fearless no matter what.
Who or what can get to me?

Heb. 13:5, The Message

Better is little with the reverent, worshipful fear of the Lord than great and rich treasure and trouble with it. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fatted ox and hatred with it.

Proverbs 15-16-17

Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Wow. Such a complex topic…I feel as if I have hardly touched the surface. But everyday that I resist the urge to buy stuff, I get a little more content with what I already have. Baby steps. Thank you Jesus for being patient with me!

Tonight I spoke at our local chapter of Holistic Moms Network about “Parenting in a Commerical Culture”. We had a great turnout and a lively discussion about the challenges facing parents in a culture where advertisers are actively fighting for your child’s mind. Much of the conversation centered around television viewing and the merchandising of cartoon characters. It was clear that everyone felt the pressure to conform to mainstream culture, but that they were taking steps to push against it. I am very fortunate to have such mindful and intelligent mamas to bounce ideas off of and turn to for support.

Here are some action tips on this topic from the New American Dream*:

• Get rid of the TV.
• Expose kids to other media – surrealist films, conceptual art exhibits (carefully selected), gatherings of interesting adult friends with non-mainstream stories to tell.
• Remove the logos from clothes, theirs and yours. Talk with kids about why you’re doing this. Suggest to kids to design their own, personal logos.
• See a wonderful passage on commercialism and consumerism by Brian Swimme
• Parents who resist consumerism for themselves are the ones who teach their children to resist it.
• Teach children to be doers and creators rather than shoppers and buyers.
• Supply them with sidewalk chalk, old cardboard boxes and other makings of creative play.
• Grow your own food. Involve the kids. Teach your child of the connections within the natural world. Experience their beauty together. Talk about where things come from, who made them, what they are made of.
• Teach by example and conviction a set of values that allow kids to make their own choices.
• Teach kids empathy for others. Instead of buying toys, suggest they spend the money bringing some groceries to the local food bank.

*I used a handout from New American Dream that was full of great resources, websites, etc. They are a really neat grassroots organiziation on a mission. Check them out!

The stats:

From 1667 square feet TO 478 square feet
From 3 bedrooms TO 1 bedroom.
From a table that could seat 8 TO a table that seats 3.
From a 2-story house TO a 3rd floor walk-up.
From 5 closets TO 2 closets.
From $230 a month utility bill to $21 a month.
From a large, adorable, high mortgage house TO a little, adorable, cheap apartment.

We are blissfully happy in our new apartment. The smallness. The ease. The togetherness. We love it. We have gotten rid of so much WEIGHT this last year. Debt, belongings, household responsibilites. Every time I walk up 3 flights of stairs, I am reminded of our choices and how happy I am about it. Even with a 27 lb. toddler on my back. Now that’s happy. Another great thing is that Matt is completely on the same page and loves it as much as I do.

Things I LOVE about living smaller:
*Everything has a place.
*It forces me to be creative with our use of space.
*I donate things regularly to clear more space.
*I don’t have to wonder where Bella is.
*I don’t have to yell downstairs to Matt.
*I only have things that I love around me.
*I feel light and free.
*I am not overwhelmed with housework.
*I have a smaller ecological footprint.

Things I LOVE about our apartment:
*The sound of the wind through the trees outside our windows.
*The feel of community. I have great neighbors.
*Old brick building = great sound barrier.
*Brand new laundry machines in a bright basement.
*Everything is bright.
*We are so close to everything.
*It’s a beautiful historic neighborhood…great for going on walks.
*It’s so fast to the freeway.
*It takes less time to get to my parent’s house on the other side of town.

Ok, c’mon Sara…you can’t love EVERYTHING! Fine…you’re right, there are a few things that I wish were different.
*I can’t paint the walls.
*Sometimes if people are smoking outside, you can smell it upstairs.
*My shower needs more water pressure.
*There isn’t an easy recycling option.

That’s it. I pretty much love it. I even love the on street parking. Don’t mind it a bit. It’s fun…and I never have to park more than a 1/2 block away.

I’ve created a little photo tour for you. There are lots of notes on the photos. you just have to “mouse over” the image to get them to appear. You can also leave comments (hint hint…I love comments). SO…come on up to the third floor and have a cup of tea with me!

Many of you know this already, but we are getting ready to move to a smaller apartment (we’ve sold our house)…so that we can fully focus on paying off student loans and living more simply.

Living more simply…those words mean different things for everyone. It doesn’t have to mean giving up all the things you enjoy. Or only eating beans and rice. Or never going on vacation again. Or getting rid of all your possessions. It’s just about deciding what is important in your life, and aligning your priorities to match. As you examine your life, you will probably realize that many things you thought you “needed”…you really didn’t need.

For us, downsizing our living space allows us to spend more time doing what we love to do. Instead of spending hours cleaning, we can spend hours at the park having a picnic. Instead of spending money on a large mortgage payment, we can live in a smaller space and use the extra money to achieve the financial freedom we desperately long for. Making sacrifices now helps us achieve our dreams for later.

This journey started over a year ago, when we discovered Dave Ramsey. We listened to Dave on the radio, read his books, etc. We were able to pay off all of our credit cards, our car, and other random debts. The only debt we still have is student loans. Some people think that student loans are “supposed” to be around forever, but I totally disagree. There is a tremendous emotional drain that comes with that kind of debt. That’s why we are choosing to knock it out over the course of the coming year.

We are getting rid of most of our possessions…and all of our debt. I can feel the lightness already! And now, one last note for those of you who are saying…”I could never do that!”. Look at your current living arrangements, your possessions and your spending. Do you ever use your extra bedroom? Do you really need 4 bathrooms in your house? Do you need 6 pairs of jeans? Do you need that latte everyday? Do you really have to work 80 hours a week just so you can have everything your heart desires? It does take some soul searching to make changes, but it’s so worth it in the end. Go simple!

Even though I desire to lead a simple life with few possessions and tread lightly on the earth…I am still hear a the evil voices whenever I go near a mall (which I like to refer to as the “Giant Shrine of Manufactered Wants). It whispers to me…

“You need me..”
“Your life would be so different if you would just buy me…”
“You would look so cute if you wore me…”

The first step is realizing that the mall DOES truly try to suck you in like the sirens…the second step is resisting, the third step is going to Starbucks and buying an inanely overpriced cup of muddy water and sugar flavoring to “reward” yourself for not getting sucked into the mall.

Here is the post that got me thinking about this today…Stuff Lust.

Photo by Charlie Brewer/Flickr

Ok. I’m back. I haven’t been blogging for quite awhile, but I really missed being able to spit all my thoughts out and having people sass me. So, here we go again.

I have been obsessed with simplicity, downsizing, and such for about a year now. We have made great strides in getting rid of our “extra” possessions. It’s so freeing and wonderful to get rid of the STUFF.

I have a few books that are a constant reminder to pursue the simple life. First, my Bible. John the Baptist had this to say in Luke 3:11:

“John answered, “The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.”

This verse has helped me when I thought I needed to have more of this or more of that, and has also reminded me that others have nothing when I have 2, 3, 4 of something. We really need so little to be content. Get rid of your duplicates!

Also, the books Material World and Women of the Material World have inspired me beyond measure. They are on my coffee table so I can reference them often.

“The Irresistable Revolution” by Shane Claiborne is a must read. Go get it today.

I am a constant work in progress, but I believe God has called me to lead a quiet, simple life. I just keep working at it little by little…with so many joys along the way.