Archive for the 'Following Jesus' Category

“I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
*Jesus

Over the past 4-5 years, Matt and I have slowly gravitated away from the mega-church setting and more towards the “family-like” community that is offered with smaller churches, and even more specifically, house churches. The change really started brewing when we read the life-changing book “Irresistible Revolution” and subsequently sold everything and hit the road. I highly recommend that you read this book…it’s not just for Christians, but for those on any type of spiritual journey. It explores how different life (and the world) would be if we took “religion” out of the equation, stopped arguing amongst ourselves, and simply lived out what Jesus truly taught in the Bible. The book does have some flaws, but it’s still powerful stuff.

During our travels, we were able to visit a lot of different types of churches…and while we enjoy the energy of worshiping with a large group, we also enjoyed the more intimate gatherings. The conversations and relationships seemed more meaningful and we took applicable truths with us throughout the week in a much different way than when we just sat through a non-interactive sermon.

Now that we have settled in Longmont, we are so happy to be involved with Emmaus Road Community, a network of house churches located in the Boulder county region of Colorado. We meet weekly in our small groups and then once a month we have an “All Gathering” where all of the house churches come together for a larger worship and fellowship time. It’s the best of both worlds.

When I had mentioned our house church in a previous post, there were many of you who expressed interest in hearing more about it! I have asked Kris Cheek, one of the leaders with Emmaus Road (and a good friend of ours) to answer some of the most common questions about house churches. Feel free to post more questions in the comment section and we will do our best to answer them!

What is a “house church”?
A house church is not just another set of meetings. It is a small group of friends…a spiritual family sharing biblical community. House churches are an expression of the larger church family happening in homes or other common place settings.

A house church is for those of us who still need to grow, who need a place to ask questions and who need others to both celebrate our victories and help us when we mess things up. It is not a group of perfect people, but a safe place to be real. It is a place to eat, play and rest, to learn together what it means to follow Christ. A place to study the Bible together, find spiritual mentoring, to be a spiritual mentor, to figure out together what it means to love our God wholeheartedly and our neighbors unselfishly.

A house church is a group of people learning what it means to carry each others burdens and confess sins to one another. We strive to share our resources and possessions to meet practical needs within the local church family, our neighborhoods, and around the world. A house church gathering may also include a baseball game or school play. It could be painting someone’s house or watching a movie together. The essence of what makes a gathering of people a “house church” is about their vision and commitment to “doing life” together.

What does a typical gathering look like?
We usually start with a small social hour, including a potluck style meal.  The group then gathers together in a living room for singing, sharing, praying and Bible discussion. We will also share in a simple communion time periodically.  House churches consist of adults and families, single and married, young and old.  Children, teenagers and college students are all part of the house church life.  If we have a lot of young families and children in a house church, we typically have a lesson geared towards children during the adult Bible discussion time.

Do you miss having a “big church”? With big music, big programs, etc?
Yes and no.  Big church can mean “corporate worship gatherings”, these celebrations usually consist of quality music, worship and preaching. There is a place for large meetings, because they encourage people to remember that they are part of something bigger than themselves. Large celebrations inspire faith and point the way forward for the whole community of house churches.  Big church can also serve to centralize people and resources to make a broad impact and meet a variety of needs in their community and world.  However, big church can also foster consumerism and anonymity, where people attend for an hour on Sunday morning or maybe participate in a program or two throughout the week, but likely will miss out on becoming a part of a small spiritual family where they are known, accepted, and spurred on to love God and people more deeply.

What is the most common reason people seek out a house church as opposed to a traditional church?
Many people are looking for a faith community that is participatory, involved, produces accountability and reproduces leaders that may in turn start other house churches.  We also believe that today’s generation of young people and families are seeking a community where the focus is on relationships, authenticity, the freedom to be creative, and inter-generational connections. Why house church? For community, for love, for help, for growth. But remember, a house church is not a utopia – in fact, it can be a bit messy at times. Because life is messy! 

Is there a place for the “mega-church” in present day Christianity?
Definitely!  No one model of church will minister to the world by itself.  We need all kinds of churches to engage all kinds of people.  In the earliest parts of the Book of Acts, we read of thousands of followers of Jesus gathered together for worship daily.  Mega-churches today attract thousands people with their state of the art technology, music, preaching and large buffet of programs.  To compliment these large-scale amenities, some mega-churches supplement with smaller independent groups called “community groups” or “life groups”.

What do you do with the kids?
We can’t forget that we’re following a guy, namely Jesus, that highly values children!  He told his own disciples to “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  Matthew 19:14

Kids are always welcome and encouraged to be involved with the house churches.  The family integrated environment is beneficial to the kids, as well as the adults.  For that reason, we have children remain with us for much of the time during our house church gatherings.  We do provide our children with some structured “kids church” time with trusted adults during a portion of the house church, particularly the adult Bible discussion time. We encourage children to begin sharing responsibility and are treated with utmost respect and value.


Is attending a house church biblical?
The Church is not a building or a meeting, it’s simply people, For the first three centuries of the church, known as Early Christianity, Christians typically met in homes, if only because intermittent persecution (before the Edict of Milan in 313) did not allow the erection of public church buildings. Local church expressions come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Throughout the many references to the local church in the New Testament, it is clear that the local church physically gathered at certain times and places. These were regular connecting points to worship, study the God’s Word, share meals, pray, play and encourage one another (Acts 2:42-27).

Here are some examples of churches gathered in homes throughout the New Testament books:

“The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house.  ”Aquila and Prisca greet you heartily in the Lord, with the church that is in their house.”  I Cor 16:19

“Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. Greet also the church that meets at their house.” Romans 16:3-5

“Give my greetings to the brothers and sisters at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church in her house.” Colossians 4:15

“To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker—also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home.” Philemon 1:1-2

What are some books I could read on the topic of house church?

General audience:
Organic Church by Neil Cole
The House Church Book by George Barna
The Forgotten Ways by Alan Hirsch

Geared towards those in leadership roles:
Starting A House Church by Larry Kreider
Total Church by Steve Timmis

 

Guest Blogger: Kris Cheek

In June of 2006, Kris and his wife Natalie, along with five other families launched Emmaus Road Community, an inter-related network of house churches. Kris also spends time helping other individuals and families start new Christian faith communities around the country. Before moving to the Boulder area in 2006, Kris directed a youth sports organization called SportReach in Lincoln, Nebraska.  Kris and Natalie have been married for 11 fantastic years and enjoy traveling, date nights, and hanging with their three kiddos Taylor, Jocelyn, and Kristyn.

 

 

 

Today, guest blogger (and my dear friend) Natalie Cheek shares her insights into “making love last”. We’ve been friends for a long time…even before any of us were married (Kris and Matt were roommates in college).  I can tell you first hand that Kris and Natalie have always been on another level when it comes to relationship management I have always admired their ability to keep the flame alive and I asked her to give us a glimpse into the “workings” of their love life. There are so many great tidbits in here…I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Tell about your relationship with Kris.

From the beginning, I learned that life with Kris would be an adventure. God has made him to be a man who pioneers new things.  We have started a sports ministry, been youth pastors, and  have become church planters. Through all of this, he has never  taken the easy way.

He is a visionary, dreamer, and a “doer”…and our life is definitely NOT boring! I have come to see that I was made perfectly for Kris because I love change (which happens often in our life!). I am flexible and willing to go wherever God is calling us.

Kris and I are getting ready to head out on a date tonight.  He got us a babysitter, made plans for the evening and asked me to be ready at 5:30.  He did all of this because over the past 11 years of our marriage, he has discovered that I feel very loved when he makes the plans and I get to be “taken care of”. And likewise, I have learned that Kris needs and wants to be respected.

There have been times where this has gotten out of balance.  For example, Kris making plans for us where I would have preferred to be consulted or me not taking initiative when he needs help.  As we have been intentional in our communication with each other, we really try to “hear” each other and learn the other person’s personality, preferences, and needs.  I didn’t believe it could be true, but I love and feel loved more today than 11 years ago on April 22nd, our wedding day.

I’ve always admired your commitment to Kris as his help mate and encourager. Has this always come easy for you? What or who has encouraged you in your roles as a wife and mother?

Kris is a very strong leader, as any one of his friends or co workers will tell you .  My father was the same, and I loved and admired that in him.  As I prayed for my future husband in college, my top prayer was for a man who would be a leader.  Isn’t God awesome?!

But, I have also always struggled with rebellion…so sometimes I get very defensive when Kris offers “helpful critcism” or when he asks (aka “tells”) me to do something.  I am learning that two people can hear the same words very differently.  When Kris says, “we need to clean the house” I hear, “you are not doing a good job at taking care of our home”.  What he really means is, “we need to clean the house”.  Ha!

I am a stay at home mom and homeschooler, but I love to be creative in finding ways to think outside my ‘mom’ role to be encouraging to Kris as his wife, lover, and friend.  However, I have found myself overwhelmed with all that needed to be accomplished in a day, nevermind being sexy for my husband!

One thing I learned from a dear friend was to ask Kris this question:

“What two things would make you happy to
come home to at the end of the day?”

For some husbands it would be dinner on the stove, a clean house, clean children, or soft music.  It could be anything.  For Kris, it was:

• A wife who had spent time with the Lord.
• A wife who had taken time to exercise to stay in shape.

I can do those things!!  Kris understands that the house will not always be clean and sometimes I will totally forget about supper, but now I know how to make him feel loved.

This year we have started reading a couples devotional together.  We haven’t done this since the first year of our marriage!  A lot of it feels very elementary, but they are all things that are good to revisit or think about in a different way.  We recently read a devotional on affirmation…and it was titled “Never Enough”.  As we talked about the idea of affirming one another and what made each other feel affirmed, we realized it truly is “never enough”.  So just when you think you have served, encouraged, loved your spouse to the limit. Do it again!

What do you and Kris do to “keep the flame alive”? Date nights, vacations, etc…

Ooooh, this one is fun!  Kris was ultra romantic and creative when we were dating.  Moonlit picnics in a gazebo with our own personal waiter, a car full of balloons and love notes written all over, my bathroom cleaned (which my roommate was supposed to have done), and breakfast waiting for (with him already gone).  IT WAS GREAT.

Then we got married and had an awesome first year (and I’m not just saying that!) As time went on, we kept the flame alive with regular date nights, sweet notes, and many fun activities.  But then real life started to crowd in.  Kris was working as a youth pastor and we were starting a sports ministry, SportReach, from the ground up.  On top of that, I was finishing up my degree.

One lonely evening, I called my mom to whine and wail about how “this life was not what I had signed up for!”.  I wanted to be the center of his world, but I felt like a bistander.  She gave me the best marriage advice I have ever been given.  She said,

“Make him supremely happy.”

What??!! You must mean for me to tell him to make ME supremely happy, right??!!!  Nope. She asked me to take two weeks and try every day to do at least one thing that would make him supremely happy.  I made his favorite meal. I bought him a little something when I went shopping. I told him how great he was. I took him on a surprise date.  Yes I did.

And as I started taking my eyes off of myself and all my supposed “needs”, a crazy thing happend. By the middle of the second week, he was doing the same for me!  At the end of two weeks, I just had to tell him about my little experiment.

He told me he knew “something” was up and that it was fantastic!  So now, 11 years later we still occasionally ask eachother, “How can I make you supremely happy?”  And even hearing the question makes me feel loved all over.

I know you and Kris do counseling for other couples…what do you see as the biggest problem couples are facing today?

By far the biggest issue is selfishness.  Just like I talked about, when I got my eyes off my own needs and truly loved him unselfishly, things changed.  We have counseled couples rocked by adultery, pre-married couples, and couples just wondering if this is all there is to marriage. And truly, once they get their eyes off of themselves and ask God to give them a new love for their spouse, and start serving them no matter how they feel at the moment…things always change for the better.

What are your top 3 pieces of advice for a happy marriage and happy home?

1. Work towards making each other supremely happy!  It comes back to ya!
2. Make lots of time for each other on a regular basis!  We go on a date EVERY week and take turns planning the date.  We both like surprises, so almost every date one of us doesn’t know what is going to happen.  We just tell the other how to dress and when to be ready. It’s so fun!  We also try to take a getaway three to four times a year.  We don’t have a huge budget, but it’s a big priority for us so we make it work no matter what.
3. Find out how to love each other best.  If Kris did stuff around the house all the time but never took me out on a date, I would not feel loved.  Giving me just one gift makes me feel more loved than him cleaning all the bathrooms!

One of the biggest benefits about all of this is that our children see it.  Our kiddos know beyond a shadow of a doubt that mom and dad love each other and love to be with each other…and that is good.  They feel really safe knowing that mom and dad are together and working to stay that way forever.

What is YOUR best advice for making love last?

Natalie lives in Longmont, Colorado and blogs at A Joy-Full Life. Get over there and show her some love!

 

The holiday season is one of joy, travel, expectation…and family. This is a wonderful thing for most, but it can also be a very challenging thing if your worldviews, food choices, and/or opinions vary greatly from your loved ones.

A couple weeks ago, I heard a sermon about being a peacemaker.

Now, I don’t really consider myself a natural peacemaker. I am opinionated and spirited, and I really love to share what I’ve learned with others. Add a bunch of family members with those same traits and sit back to watch the fireworks

So when the pastor started talking about HOW to become a peacemaker, my ears perked up. And I knew I just had to share it with you.

Peacemakers value relationship over issues.
What argument could be so important to win that you hurt a relationship over it? Even if it is an extremely important issue in your mind, if the discussion is heated enough for feelings to be hurt, it’s time to take a step back.

Peacemakers find common ground.
There are SO many other things you can discuss, especially during the holiday season. Find those things and focus on building your relationship around the beautiful things you DO agree on.

Peacemakers are slow to speak.
Proverbs 29:11 is one of my favorites…such brilliant wisdom that I need to hear daily:

A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
but a wise man quietly holds it back.

And another one:

Proverbs 20:3
It’s a mark of good character to avert quarrels,
but fools love to pick fights.

Basically, don’t be a fool. Even if you KNOW you are right. And even if you know you are right, you can still consider someone else’s views! It might turn out that you aren’t always right. *gasp* Have a humble, gentle spirit!

Oh my heart. These photos just make me swoon with motherly love. I’ve been thinking so much lately about the relationship that Bella and Lucy have and how that relationship will continue to blossom and change throughout their lives.

Bella LOVES being the big sister. She loves to teach and help and encourage. She is so loving…sometimes a little TOO loving Lucy has now figured out that if she doesn’t want to be picked up by Bella, she can head butt, pinch, pull hair, bite…whatever it takes to get her to put her down. It’s actually quite humorous to observe. This is hard for Bella because all she wants to do is have a real live baby doll. Matt and I get so exasperated from repeating the phrase “Bella…please put her down” all day long. She can’t walk by Lucy without trying to pick her up!

Lucy wants to be big like Bella. It’s so hard when Bella has friends over to play…because Lucy wants to join in the fun! Unfortunately right now that means she will eat markers and tear papers, and pretty much drive them crazy. She begs to sit in Bella’s bunk…and when we finally put her up there, she sits super still and quiet…drinking in the moment.

Sometimes after Bella has an interaction with Lucy…she will share her thoughts with me. She whispers with a smile…

“I did that just like a mommy…”

And I wonder in my heart what “mommy ways” I have modeled for her that day. Often times, I am reminded of words spoken too harshly, concerns dismissed to quickly, or her repeated requests that went ignored because I was “busy”. I so desire to show her what gentleness, grace, and kindness look like in a real setting. And yet, I fail often.

Watching her act out my inadequacies is a hard wake up call. And something I am actively working on. Because she copies my actions. And Lucy copies her actions. So by controlling my own selfishness and/or impatience, I can affect the entire dynamic of our family. I have God-given power to mold the outcome of every situation by exchanging my knee jerk reactions with thoughtful, Christ-like reactions.

I cannot do this on my own. I do not believe that deep down I am a “GOOD” person and if I just focus on that, good things will come out of my heart. No, I believe that deep down, I am motivated by selfish desires. I’m motivated by my flesh. And acting in the flesh FEELS good at the time, but it’s not good.  I’m a sinner. Every day (sometimes every hour), I have to die to those desires. I want more of Jesus and less of me. I walk with Jesus by my side every day so that I can listen to Him whisper encouragement in my ears:

The day started off really good…I was listening to the radio and one of my favorite songs came on.

I caught a glimpse of Your splendor
In the corner of my eye
The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
And it was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I’ll never be the same

*Third Day :: Show Me Your Glory

Glory. Hmmmm…I love that word. As I listened, I sat down at my computer to look up the lyrics. Life was good.

But then…it turned into one of “those days”. I wasn’t feeling grateful. I was cranky. I didn’t feel God near. As we drove into town that night, these were the scenes before us. Brilliant sunlight shining out from the clouds and a rainbow splashed across a dark and dreary sky. In an instant, I thought…”GLORY”.  I was reminded of that morning and the song.

I love it when He speaks to me so clearly…through His creation and music. Two methods that I can understand easily. I watched the sky…and my heart finally understood what He had been trying to tell me all day. If He has the power to create these works of art in the sky, He certainly has the power to work in my life.

Once we’ve seen God’s glory…we are NEVER the same. But thankfully, He is ALWAYS the same. He never changes. He never stops loving me even through my darkest days and my lack of faith. He is patient and loving. He is LIGHT…the rainbow that cuts through even the darkest of days.

I’ve written in the past about contentment and wanting and living a life without complaining. It’s a theme that comes up in my heart over and over. And that’s because I haven’t quite mastered it yet.

The attitude of my heart ebbs and flows in direct proportion to the amount of time I spend in connection with Jesus. When I hear myself complaining, feel discontentment, or when I feel any sort of fear starts to creep into my mind, I know something needs to change in my walk with Him. After examining my life, it’s usually pretty easy to determine what has crept in and stolen my heart away from Him. It could be idol time spent online or time spent pursuing passions. But whatever it is, I have to work diligently to re-focus and re-connect.

One way that I reconnect is to listen to and sing worship music. I’ve been listening to Jesus Culture a lot lately (thanks Steph!)…and one of my favorite songs they perform is “Revelation Song”. Every time I hear it, I come into a place of longing to know Jesus more. I will often pray and journal as I listen…writing down the lyrics that really melt into my heart. Today I wrote…

Filled with wonder,
Awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is Power
Breath, and Living Water
Such a marvelous mystery

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and
Glory and power be
To You the Only Wise King…

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. *Psalm 56:3

We’ve spent the last 6 days in rain. Pouring, pounding, rain. With a little tornado thrown in for good measure. The irony is that we are in the desert. We thoroughly expected for it to be warm, sunny, and generally amazing. It wasn’t.

But today, the sun is out. Things are drying out…and we are moving on. I am slowly learning to appreciate the beauty and the process in the rain…and not focus entirely upon the storm.

And such is life. Things don’t go as we expect. Our ideas of how things are “supposed” to be are shattered. But we serve a sovereign God who KNOWS what He has planned for us. And they are good things. We may not see the purpose of the hard times initially. But He is always forming, always planning, always knowing, always doing what is BEST for His children. He knows about the rain and He can handle it. Rest and let Him. And after the rain…a rainbow.

Oswald Chambers…gotta love him. I’ve been reading “My Utmost for His Highest” as a devotional for as long as I can remember and it never ceases to speak a timely word to my spirit. Today was no exception. Read on:

There was nothing of the nature of impulsive or thoughtless action about our Lord, but only a calm strength that never got into a panic. Most of us develop our Christianity along the lines of our own nature, not along the lines of God’s nature. Impulsiveness is a trait of the natural life, and our Lord always ignores it, because it hinders the development of the life of a disciple. Watch how the Spirit of God gives a sense of restraint to impulsiveness, suddenly bringing us a feeling of self-conscious foolishness, which makes us instantly want to vindicate ourselves. Impulsiveness is all right in a child, but is disastrous in a man or woman—an impulsive adult is always a spoiled person. Impulsiveness needs to be trained into intuition through discipline.

Discipleship is built entirely on the supernatural grace of God. Walking on water is easy to someone with impulsive boldness, but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is something altogether different. Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus, but he “followed Him at a distance” on dry land ( Mark 14:54 ). We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes.

You can read online…and even subscribe to the feed. Oct. 22 is fantastic as well.