Archive for the 'Self-Discipline' Category

Self-discipline does not come naturally. We are born with the desire to do whatever feels the best, and it’s difficult to overcome. However, once it is mastered, it makes a huge difference in every area of life.

Self-discipline defined: the act of denying yourself; controlling your impulses.

Ah-ha! No wonder it’s so hard. When is the last time you heard a commerical on TV telling you to DENY yourself? It’s a dual struggle…against our flesh AND the culture we live in. The only way for me to gain control of my impulses, as the definition implies, is to pray continuously. Here are some of the areas that I struggle with:

• Sleep. I wrote about this yesterday…so no need to go into detail. I have a hard time denying myself of more internet time and my bedtime gets pushed later and later and later. Consequently, I am too tired to get up at 5:30 a.m…which is when I desire to meet with the Lord.
• Exercise. I used to work out daily at 5:30 a.m. 6 days a week. But that was back in year 2000 BB (before Bella). I have the desire now…but no discipline. For the time being I get my “workout” by chasing Bella, lifting her on my legs, climbing the stairs, etc. But it’s not enough to maintain a healthy heart. Maybe I will add that to my things to do when I get up at 5:30 a.m.
• Money. I have battled money issues throughout my adult life. It started in college…they told me I could have a free t-shirt if I signed up for their credit card. Sweeeeet! Next thing I know, I have $5,000 on that card and it’s only the end of my freshman year. Luckily, I snapped out of that, paid it off, and met Matt. We still had to learn a lot of money lessons the hard way when we were newlyweds, but it’s under control now. Especially with the Compact in full swing. We have no consumer debt and we only pay with cash, using an envelope budgeting system. However, even though we are following a budget, the struggle is with the DESIRE to buy things…not actually buying them. Wanting more, when I have more than enough. Even while on the Compact, I have choices to make regarding what we do spend. For example, I went grocery shopping today and I could have easily spent $100 if I would have allowed myself to buy everything I “wanted”… bread (instead of making my own), a sandwich for lunch (instead of going home to eat), apples (they are so expensive right now!), crackers for Bella (instead of making our own)…the list could go on and on. Instead, I stuck to my list and got an amazing amount of food for only $55.00. It was exhilierating to deny myself in this case, because it resulted in saved money.
• Food. I have always had a fast metabolism…and didn’t really have to watch what I ate. Now that I’m getting OLD…I need to be more mindful of what I put in my mouth. I have a horrible sweet tooth, and if I let myself start down a sugar path…it’s hard to come back. With that being said, I have incredible self-discipline when I want to…especially in the area of food. Eating only raw foods for an entire month? No problem. No meat for 2 years? No problem. It’s all the other little battles. Having another peanut butter cup doesn’t really seem like a spiritual battle…but it’s the attitude of that heart that matters. If I can practice self-discipline in the little matters…it will be easier during the bigger trials.
• Maintaining my home. When I discipline myself to clean the apt. throughout the day and put everything away after each use, I am a MUCH happier person. Disciplining myself to create a “place for everything” blesses my family. If I decide that I don’t “want” to do the laundry for 2 weeks…there are big problems. Isn’t it amazing how God can teach us lessons even through the mundane?
• My mouth. After high school and college, gossiping became a thing of the past for me. However, I still have to be very careful about my use of sarcasm…and my tone of voice in everyday conversation. It is especially important as a Godly wife to never speak badly about my husband to others. Every word out of my mouth is counted in heaven…I long to please Him with every breath. So challenging…

Basically it comes down to denying myself now for a greater reward/benefit in the future. Getting up early might not feel great now, but the long-term spiritual benefits are plenty. Deciding to exercise and eat healthy even when I don’t feel like it will bring health to me through the years of my life. Not buying everything I desire will allow us to save for more important things in the future. Having a discplined mouth brings honor in the present and no regrets in the future.

“Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Cor 6:12

I want only to be “mastered” by the Lord…who knows my struggles and my heart. He knows how to best teach me in this area. He displayed the ultimate self-discipline as He willingly went to the cross to die for our sins. My prayer is that I will die to myself daily…for I am not my own.

Throughout my life, the most rewarding and wonderful times in prayer have been when I have gotten up EARLY in the morning to meet Him. When I give Him the very first part of my day, I am able to accomplish much more than I ever thought possible. When I can make breakfast, get the laundry done, put supper in the crock pot, and have prayer time in before 9:00 a.m…life is GOOD. Scripture speaks over and over about the benefits of rising early.

“She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.” Proverbs 31:15

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:35

There are two women that I have been so encouraged by over the years. The first is author and speaker Becky Tirabassi. About 6 years ago, I read her book, Let Prayer Change Your Life. She is the one who initially got me into “the early hours” and also into journaling. Secondly, a woman named Laine who writes letters of encouragement to Christian women on the web. She has written so much about her early appointments with the Lord. She’s an amazing woman of God and I come away smiling after every letter I read.

E.M. Bounds is one of my favorite voices on the topic of prayer. Even though he was born in 1835, the wisdom he relates is clearly still applicable. Here are some of his thoughts on prayer, excerpted from the book “E.M. Bounds on Prayer”:

A desire for God that cannot break the chains of sleep is a weak thing and will do little good for God. The desire for God that stays far behind the Devil and the world at the beginning of the day will never catch up. It is not simply getting up that has brought men to the front and has made them leaders in God’s hosts. It is the overwhelming desire that stirs and breaks all self-indulgent chains that does so. But getting up gives vent, increase, and strength to the desire. If they had lain in bed and indulged themselves, the desire would have been quenched. The desire aroused them and inspired them to reach out for God (p. 491).

More time and early hours devoted to prayer would revive and invigorate many a decayed spiritual life. More time and early house for prayer would manifest in holy living. A holy life would not be so rare or so difficult a thing if our devotions were not so short and hurried (p.518).

The first step to being able to get up early in the morning…is to stop staying up so late! So it’s off to bed I go. May you greet Him early…

The empty shopping cart. Symbolic of my first day of The Compact. I wrote about it last week, but never got around to starting it. So this is it…I’m really doing it this time. I’m actually really excited to explore and conquer my tendencies to want, want, want things all the time.

My first “compact moment” came today as I was heading home. We had a birthday party to go to tonight for one of Bella’s friends who was turning 2. I decided to stop and get a balloon for her. I also wanted to buy a couple plants to go in some cute little pots I have at the apt. And then I remembered…

“I started the Compact today…what am I thinking?!”

So instead of going into the store and spending money on a balloon, 2 plants, and inevitably more (because I was hungry and would have bought snacks and who knows what else too)…we continued on home. When we got there, Bella and I made an adorable homemade card together to bring to her friend, and I am going to see if I can find some plants on my local Freecycle. Whew! I passed my first test.

With that one little decision, Bella and I were able to spend time creating something together. She learned that it’s ok (and BETTER!) to make a homemade gift for someone. And I saved myself at least $25.00. Wow!

Now for the rules. I tend to get very strict with myself whenever I commit to something like this…to the point of making myself crazy. So I will try not to be so hardcore that it causes me unnecessary trauma…but committed enough to make a difference. So, here is what I will do:

1. I will not buy any NEW items for one year.
2. I will only buy items that I NEED.
3. I will not buy any convenience foods when grocery shopping with the exception of bread and chips. I will strive to eat in season, buying as local as possible. I will bring cloth grocery bags to the store, and I will create a weekly menu/grocery list EVERY week.
4. I will not go out to eat at a restaurant if I have the option of eating at home.

EXCEPTION: I will allow printing of photos. Photography is one of the things I love, and to take that away would greatly decrease my quality of life…which is not what the Compact is about.

My Goals:

1. To gain perspective and learn contentment.
2. To be a mindful consumer and live lighter on the earth.
3. To become more patient and learn to plan ahead as I borrow, barter, buy used, re-use, and recycle.
4. To payoff the remainder of our student loan debt.

Thanks to Chelee for getting me started on my rule list!

Here is the “Compact Pledge”:

In light of the destructive effects of personal greed, we pledge to curb our purchases, cease frivolous buying, and choose to simplify our lives. Excepting only those things needed for work and the health and safety of our families, we pledge not to buy new. Further more, we will actively seek to pass on possessions we no longer want to those who are in need. In doing so, we hope to educate both friends and family about the corrosive effects of being in a constant state of want, nurture in ourselves the uplifting state of giving, thus reducing the load on the environment and creating a more sensible path for our lives. For these reasons, we join the Compact.

- Aaron Highe at the SF site (paraphrased)

Here’s to the journey! Who is with me?

Photo: Eva Marieville | Flickr